So windy here,its gonna rain I guess. Seems the surrounding know what am I'm feeling right now, I'm giving up most of the time. Every time I face problem or trouble, I just keep to myself. I don't want anyone be by my side. I shame of myself & I feels like there no more hope for me. This depression keep coming since this last 2 years. Something I regret so much. Something really really stuck in my head & I couldn't find the solution except than face it terribly. And every time I get through it, its getting harder and harder to swallow it. So pain, so suffering. Even I'm not a little girl anymore which is need her mum to lead her to walk but my strength & spirit so little. I'm so weak. Easy to get depress & I already lost my positive thinking as this while. I guess I lost myself. I don't want ask why all this happening to me because I hold tight that everything happen must be a reason, either its good or bad reason or not, it still a reason. So as a good Muslimah, keep the faith & believe to Him. InsyaAllah everything's gonna be alright.
When you in tough & complex stage in your life, one where your true best friend is yourself. Try to discover all the good things about you even tiny tiny one..how small it is, don't be shame for it. Because it will help you grow & mature. Its was an extra when you have someone you can trust to talk to, to share to..so appreciate them. Is it so precious when you having someone who you can trusted just when you need them?? Of course it is precious guys.. At least it keeps you away from giving up so badly or suicide, the worst, Nauzubillah... Actually having the courage to open up makes the healing process of your depression started, so be proud of it.
Writing this also an effort to continue the healing process. At least I'm trying to get the cure. Wish me luck for the progressing. I'm so sick..emotionally.
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