happy unhappy

maybe not now,

maybe not today, but eventually.

things will come together, insyaAllah.

right now it doesn't seem that way

right now it seems like everything is wrong

but that isn't true.....

at some point in our lives,

we'll all hit rock bottom

bumps on the road

and so much more

so much easier to sit there and feel hopeless

rather than pull ourselves back up.

don't give up

everything will be alright.

they say there are five stages of grief:

DENIAL

ANGER

BARGAINING

DEPRESSION

ACCEPTANCE

and I don't know what stage am I right now

I keep everything inside

hard for me to spill everything out

instead of thinking for myself

I choose thinking about others first

that's who I am

I can say, nobody understand me

I guess

but one thing keeping me standing is that

I must be strong

for good.

dear....

Salam...

dear precious..

someone said:: Good that you have fix it...

but does he know what is behind the 'it' word...??

but..nevermind..

Alhamdulillah..some part of my problems solved but not all

still struggling but not too struggling...

someone said:: you should not treat him like tht..he's not your cat!!

ouuchhh, so hurt..bleeding inside..

hoping she knew what she saying one day..

if she knew how hard am I..

if she knew how hurt am I..

if she knew how weak am I..

if she knew how trouble am I..

thought she understands me..

but I never blame her coz no one ever understand me more than myself

and I know she not totally mean it.. it just bcoz afraid of losing me..

someone said:: I will always be by your side, always.. like a firewall..anything or anyone wanna get access to you must deal with me first. I will protected you as long as I'm breathing..

he is the beautiful thing ever happens in my life..

until now, I still can't believe he found me..

a girl with a lot of problem..such a burdening girl..right??

he always there when I need him..even not needed, he always there..

he's so hold on tight that he loves me with all his heart..

I don't know how many time I lie him..

I don't know how many time I hurt him..

I don't know how many time I make him worried..

and I don't know how many time I make him cried..

as other guy, I think I already been dumped..

but he...

everytime I ask him why you are doing this to me??

the only words he can say is..

because I LOVE YOU..

I wanna get marriage with you and having a happy life with you..

that time I realized that I shouldn't hurt him anymore..

I should make him happy as he always created smiles on my face..

make me laugh..and yes..

he never fail make me smile..

to Ahmad Asyraf Merican bin Mohd Ibrahim Merican..

thanks for all your support all this while..

even I can't be the best for you..

but I always try to...